Saturday, May 26, 2012

The Me I've Always Wanted To Be

On May 15th, I turned 37.

It was a pretty good day.  I went out for lunch with my Mom and she got me a Kindle for my birthday.  I was taken out for supper with Hubby and the kids; we went to Pizza Delight and it was good.  I chilled and didn't do much of anything most of the day.

As I turned 37 I realized that I have spent nearly 37 years trying to make everyone happy except for myself.  No, it's not the first time I had that realization.  I've had it many times, especially over the last year.  But it was like now, in the 38th year of my life, I am finally going to be living the life I always wanted to live.  A life where I am happy.

The past year has been one of the hardest years of my life because I had to break away from things that were very deeply rooted in me but were not nurturing me.  I have had to overcome OCD, anxiety and other mental health issues caused by trying to make others happy but were slowly killing me inside.  I learned to love myself and accept the person that I am.

Most importantly, I learned other people don't care as much as I always thought they did.  Period.

I hope to chronicle some of what I've been through here.  It is a journey, one I am still on.  One that will probably take the rest of my life :)